Random Arsenal Shit (When it's not worth starting a thread)

[Olivier's xmas twist]

Stewart Robson
.

[GP]

[Xhaka Can’t]

ROMAN Abramovich has bought the Trident weapons system as part of a plan to shore up Chelsea’s defences.

The £25 billion price tag represents a club record and sends a signal that Abramovich is serious in his ambitions for Chelsea FC to be feared globally.

Footballologist Wayne Hayes said: “The question is, would Chelsea seriously deploy nuclear warheads to prevent Ashley Young from making a surging run from midfield?

“They’d prevent a certain goal but in the process annihilate London, kill millions of people and condemn many more to a slow, agonising death – and all for three points. Would it be worth it?

“Nuclear weapons can be a strategic boon, but they present managers with big moral decisions, affecting not only the outcome of the match but the survival of humanity.”

Defence expert Stephen Malley said: “This signals the beginning of a football arms race. Arsene Wenger has just maxed out his budget with four broken Chieftain tanks.

“Stoke have converted their restaurant into a laboratory and are hoping to enrich uranium in time for the re-opening of the weapons transfer window.

“And Manchester City’s owners have bought the Star Wars Missile Defence system, but are still working out a way to make it only cover the blue half of the City.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...-2012103047000

[LDG]

[Globalgunner]

ROMAN Abramovich has bought the Trident weapons system as part of a plan to shore up Chelsea’s defences.

The £25 billion price tag represents a club record and sends a signal that Abramovich is serious in his ambitions for Chelsea FC to be feared globally.

Footballologist Wayne Hayes said: “The question is, would Chelsea seriously deploy nuclear warheads to prevent Ashley Young from making a surging run from midfield?

“They’d prevent a certain goal but in the process annihilate London, kill millions of people and condemn many more to a slow, agonising death – and all for three points. Would it be worth it?

“Nuclear weapons can be a strategic boon, but they present managers with big moral decisions, affecting not only the outcome of the match but the survival of humanity.”

Defence expert Stephen Malley said: “This signals the beginning of a football arms race. Arsene Wenger has just maxed out his budget with four broken Chieftain tanks.

“Stoke have converted their restaurant into a laboratory and are hoping to enrich uranium in time for the re-opening of the weapons transfer window.

“And Manchester City’s owners have bought the Star Wars Missile Defence system, but are still working out a way to make it only cover the blue half of the City.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...-2012103047000

But how does all of this solve the referee problem?

[Xhaka Can’t]

You neuter him by accusing him of racism.

[Asthmatic Kitty]

not sure if this has been posted elsewhere - cazorla and arteta having a natter
http://www.skysports.com/video/inlin...213536,00.html

[Kano]

bendtner putting on his usual horror show

[Cripps_orig]

Arsenal have revealed that they will travel to Indonesia for a pre-season friendly next summer.

Having visited China and Malaysia in the last two years, the Gunners will return to Asia to visit the world's fourth most populous country, where they last set foot 30 years ago.

Although no date has been set, the club have confirmed that the match will take place in the capital city of Jakarta.

Chief executive Ivan Gazidis announced: "Everyone at Arsenal is extremely excited to once again be visiting Asia.

"We know that Arsenal enjoy fantastic support in Indonesia and we are all looking forward to bringing the club closer to these loyal fans and learning more about the country's rich heritage and culture."

http://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/2896/...esian-friendly

More money

[Niall_Quinn]

Everyone at Arsenal is extremely excited to once again be visiting Asia

Does that include Kroenke? Will he be excitedly visiting Asia with the team? What about Gazidis? Or will they be at home counting out the money? Bringing the club closer to "loyal" fans - how will they do that? By rolling PHW out to call them slitty-eyed ****s? Only if they are lucky enough to get the same level of respect reserved for the fans at home.