You bastards.
You bastards.
Me too. Ignore the luddites.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter
Denton
Welcome back, and don't you dare stop these diaries. Been an avid reader and can't wait for the next instalment.
'WHEN HE HAS A PLAN, WE BACK HIM, WHEN HE DOESN'T......WE KEEP QUIET'
Yeh - don't be small and don't react to posts - you're bigger than that mate.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter
Society is now one polished horde
Formed by two mighty tribes, the bores and the bored.
"After all, it was the Gunners’ goalkeeper who started the move that culminated in Thomas’ crowning glory. It was Lukic who, in injury time, decided to throw the ball out to Lee Dixon rather than lump it long..."
'The Year of Our Lord 2013
A cavity has formed. Dark. Rotting. Seeringly painful. Pain that shoots from the depth of the soul up through to the lobes of the mind.
My soul feels hollowed out. The cavity is getting deeper. The pain is becoming unbearable. The pain which has kept me up all night. All night, talking to Big Sam. Big Sam. My Big Sam. Human Polyfilla. My rock.
But still the cavity grows. I search the pit of my soul for the reason. It's not Sir Alex's retirement. He has promised me that I have first dibs on the Executive coffee machine next time I'm at Old Trafford. The man's a saint, not just a knight.
It's not jealousy over Big Sam's new contract present that he bought himself - a fullsize Herbie VW Beetle - as my name is stenciled on the passenger door. In my blood.
No. It's the North. I miss the glorious bastard. The cockney-less bastard North. The North. Where we do what we want.
I fill up my bath with 60 litres of North sea I had Geovanni bring down in a Morrison's tanker. I hang my pink bathrobe on my whippet and liberally toss in a sliced black pudding, tripe and 3 kippers. I sink in. I feel Northern again.
The cavity feels filled in.'