"Currants Bw..."

[LDG]

Thought I'd try out some real ale for a change.

Badgers' "Golden Champion". It's "Crisp and Fruity".

Hmmm. It's like lager, but flat.

It has gotten me tipsy, mind. So it scores well on that front.

[LDG]

So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweet shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweet shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son that's a different story altogether.....I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

[GP]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5aG8FXVtyA

[Letters]

Monday :(

[LDG]

At least the sun is shining, and we won at the weekend. That's about as good a Monday as you can get without it being a Bank Hol, or a day off.

[Letters]

I was on leave last week and in sunny Beijing the week before on a jolly very import business trip so it does all feel a bit "Back To School" today :(

[LDG]

The next few months will fly by, year end, audit and budget all happening at work.

Then it's Christmas.

Talking of which.

NoeLDG please :good:

[Letters]

NoeLDG please :good:
:angry:

[Marc Overmars]

Another year that has flown by.

Slow down, life.

[Niall_Quinn]

Are we doing the XMas names already?

OK - can you please change mine to Jimmy Saville?

[Master Splinter]

Daddy Diwali please.

[Syn]

Letters to Banta.

[Letters]

:lol:

And no.

IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER, YOU KNOB GOBBLERS :angry:

[Injury Time]

IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER, YOU KNOB GOBBLERS

not very christmasy, but if that's what you want...

[Letters]

3rd wedding anniversary :partytime:

[Marc Overmars]

Anything special planned?

[LDG]

Happy Anniversary :d

Shite, is it that long ago :o

We took over the dance floor :bow:

[Letters]

Yes, it is that long ago :oldboy:
About 8pm I gave up the battle with my nieces - I had vowed that over my dead body would we have things like "YMCA" or the "Cha Cha Slide" but in the end I gave up, they were enjoying their little selves so I just sat outside and chatted to some mates :lol:

It was a good day - I was on honeymoon when you texted me about getting engaged. I like to think I inspired you :d

[Niall_Quinn]

3rd wedding anniversary :partytime:

Really? 3 years already? That's little bit crazy. It only seems like yesterday I was wondering, how the fuck did Letters get a bird?

Doing anything nice? ##

[Letters]

I just happened to find the one woman on God's green earth who likes me. I'm confused too :shrug:

We're out for a meal then going to see a show.

[Injury Time]

3rd wedding anniversary :partytime:
Oops just remembered it was our 19th a couple weeks back, wondered why things were even frostier than normal...

[Letters]

:lol:

[LDG]

Yes, it is that long ago :oldboy:
About 8pm I gave up the battle with my nieces - I had vowed that over my dead body would we have things like "YMCA" or the "Cha Cha Slide" but in the end I gave up, they were enjoying their little selves so I just sat outside and chatted to some mates :lol:

It was a good day - I was on honeymoon when you texted me about getting engaged. I like to think I inspired you :d

:lol:

I'd already decided on it before your wedding, but yeah, you inspire me every day Letters.

[Marc Overmars]

Should I ask my girlfriends dad for permission to marry her? Do people still do that?

[Letters]

I didn't exactly do that but I did talk to the prospective in-laws telling them I'd like to propose.
MrsL's mum helped me pick a ring and everything.
:)

It would be courteous to talk to them about it.

[Xhaka Can’t]

3rd wedding anniversary :partytime:

We lost to Chelsea.

[Marc Overmars]

I didn't exactly do that but I did talk to the prospective in-laws telling them I'd like to propose.
MrsL's mum helped me pick a ring and everything.
:)

It would be courteous to talk to them about it.

Her dad is a bit of an old fashioned mans man, I know he'd appreciate it. Just not quite sure how to broach the topic! Her sister (##) helped me pick the ring so I think I'll use her as a buffer for the parents. Maybe go for dinner or something.

[Niall_Quinn]

Should I ask my girlfriends dad for permission to marry her? Do people still do that?

Just tell him he's paying for it, then he'll know what's going on by default.

[GP]

Should I ask my girlfriends dad for permission to marry her? Do people still do that?

My brother-in-law asked for my permission before he proposed to my sister, since my Dad passed away.

I appreciated the gesture. Then I drank a bottle of scotch and passed out in his bathroom.

[Letters]

We lost to Chelsea.

It was nice of them to mark the occasion by losing again :trophy:


<_<

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Should I ask my girlfriends dad for permission to marry her? Do people still do that?

Given that he'll be paying for the bastard it probably wouldn't hurt

[LDG]

Given that he'll be paying for the bastard it probably wouldn't hurt

Does the Wife-to-be's father still do that?

Me and the missus paid for our own :shrug:

[Xhaka Can’t]

Ditto

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Marc Overmars]

Yeah I'd pay for our own as well. Though her parents are quite well off so I won't be stopping them if they want to chip in. Same with my parents.

[Xhaka Can’t]

Forget it pal.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[LDG]

Yeah I'd pay for our own as well. Though her parents are quite well off so I won't be stopping them if they want to chip in. Same with my parents.

Gary said to me that "given the face on her, I'd rather pay for beauty treatment or a darker pair of sunglasses"

:shrug:

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Does the Wife-to-be's father still do that?

Me and the missus paid for our own :shrug:

I thought it was tradition or an old charter or something

If he's not paying, he should consider himself lucky for an invite

[Xhaka Can’t]

Gary said to me that "given the face on her, I'd rather pay for beauty treatment or a darker pair of sunglasses"

:shrug:
:haha:

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Syn]

So I've got no work done in the last hour because I've been too busy pissing myself laughing (or pmsl, for short) at what must be the most ridiculously shit interviewing technique that has ever been employed. Do check out the Eamonn Holmes - Corbyn interview on Youtube.

[Niall_Quinn]

So I've got no work done in the last hour because I've been too busy pissing myself laughing (or pmsl, for short) at what must be the most ridiculously shit interviewing technique that has ever been employed. Do check out the Eamonn Holmes - Corbyn interview on Youtube.

The new Fox News format is not for you? Holmes fucked it up by letting Corbyn get a word in, Hannity would never be that unprofessional.

[Letters]

Just passed my driving test :trophy:

:patrice:

[Syn]

Bet you had more minors than MJ.

[Letters]

:lol: I had 9. Is that bad? Meh. Fun you, other road users :cool:
The bloke spent 5 minutes having a go at me about all the things I did wrong...then said I'd passed.
:woohoo:

[Niall_Quinn]

:lol: I had 9. Is that bad? Meh. Fun you, other road users :cool:
The bloke spent 5 minutes having a go at me about all the things I did wrong...then said I'd passed.
:woohoo:

What is a minor? We never had those. All we had to do was drive the fucking car. If we were good at it we passed, if not we failed.

[Marc Overmars]

Well done Lettuce.

I think 15 minors fails you the test, so 9 is ok really. I remember I hit the kerb on my test when doing a turn in the road, I was convinced I failed but the rest of my drive was good and I passed. The bloke said he could tell I was shitting it but I seemed to relax after I thought I failed. :lol:

He was also a Gooner and we had just lost the CL final, so I think he empathised and didn't want to compound my misery!

[Letters]

I think being a bit older helps, I would have been annoyed if I'd failed but it wouldn't have been the end of the world. I wasn't too nervous and generally felt I did OK although I did touch the kerb a couple of times - once when I parked up, once during the manoeuvre (reversing round a corner, I don't like that one). I wasn't sure if that meant I'd failed already but I got on with it and apparently did enough to pass.

Now I just need to go out with MrsL in the car and try not to end up getting divorced because of that...

[Xhaka Can’t]

How many lessons did you take and did you have to part with a lot of money?

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Xhaka Can’t]

Oh and congrats

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Letters]

How many lessons did you take and did you have to part with a lot of money?

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

Loads and loads (of both lessons and money)
In my defence
a) I'm a bit rubbish at learning practical skills
b) I am a bit older than your average learner
c) What with various work trips there were times where I didn't have lessons for a few weeks and that didn't help. I never went out with MrsL because she's not that confident driver anyway and I thought that would just result in screaming rows.

So it took me a while to get to the level where I could pass a test but I got there eventually.

[Nozza!]

Oi, Emerson Shittipaldi, I've got a lovely VW Polo you can have for a pony...

[Letters]

Verbose as usual.

[PGFC]

First my no1 child now Letters, time to stay off the road methinks.

[Niall_Quinn]

First my no1 child now Letters, time to stay off the road methinks.

And the pavements, especially the pavements.

[Letters]

I'm an excellent driver :angry:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/34/97/9f/34979fc22764dda5ba2f7aeb0a5003cc.jpg

[LDG]

http://www.movieactors.com/photos-stars/morgan-freeman-driving76.jpg

[Letters]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/northerner-terrorised-london-by-saying-hello-20151001102473

:lol:

[Injury Time]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/northerner-terrorised-london-by-saying-hello-20151001102473

:lol:
Uncanny.
I also liked
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/people-paying-to-watch-football-2012101845515

[Letters]

#gunsdontkillpeople

http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-prevent-says-only-nation-where-regularly-ha-51443

[Niall_Quinn]

#gunsdontkillpeople

http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-prevent-says-only-nation-where-regularly-ha-51443

About time the US and UK military gave up their guns. They have killed more civilians than they can be bothered to count over the last couple of decades. Crazed, trigger happy civilian gunmen, though a problem, are insignificant by comparison. If every American had a gun and a special week was declared where they could all just run around the place shooting each other with impunity, they still wouldn't be able to kill as many innocent civilians as the military. #onionprioritiesallwrong #isitcomedyorpolitics

[Marc Overmars]

Found out my old uni tutor passed away. Only 51. :(

Such a nice bloke, always had time for everyone despite half our class being cunts. Wouldn't even let us buy him a beer at our leavers ball, he insisted drinks were on him.

[LDG]

Blimey. That's far to young.

The big C?

[Coney]

About time the US and UK military gave up their guns. They have killed more civilians than they can be bothered to count over the last couple of decades. Crazed, trigger happy civilian gunmen, though a problem, are insignificant by comparison. If every American had a gun and a special week was declared where they could all just run around the place shooting each other with impunity, they still wouldn't be able to kill as many innocent civilians as the military. #onionprioritiesallwrong #isitcomedyorpolitics

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

Taking the whole sentence, not just the cherry-picked part the gun lobby use, makes it clear that the intention of the amendment was that, for instance, a sherriff could form a posse with some armed people assisting. That is the intent. Since the wording is how people spoke 200 years ago, it has to be read in that context, not in how people use those words today. It is not a statement that all people can carry assault rifles, etc. and I am pretty sure that if the authors of the amendment had been told it would used to excuse such weaponry being owned by individuals they would be horrified.

The other thing is that the line is an amendment to the constitution. It is perfectly legal for the US to put forward an amendment to that line to clarify the meaning for the knuckle-scrapers who don't understand.

[Niall_Quinn]

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

Taking the whole sentence, not just the cherry-picked part the gun lobby use, makes it clear that the intention of the amendment was that, for instance, a sherriff could form a posse with some armed people assisting. That is the intent. Since the wording is how people spoke 200 years ago, it has to be read in that context, not in how people use those words today. It is not a statement that all people can carry assault rifles, etc. and I am pretty sure that if the authors of the amendment had been told it would used to excuse such weaponry being owned by individuals they would be horrified.

The other thing is that the line is an amendment to the constitution. It is perfectly legal for the US to put forward an amendment to that line to clarify the meaning for the knuckle-scrapers who don't understand.

Not sure what that response has to do with my original post.

[Coney]

Not sure what that response has to do with my original post.

Nothing. I hadn't had enough coffee. :(

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

I think in 95% of cases Michael Moore is full of shit, but the fact remains that America isn't the only country with lax gun laws but it is the only country where these types of gun violence happen so repeatedly.

America is a country with an inate sense of paranoia, from the vague threat of communism to the amount of people who subscribe to loose conspiracy theories on the Internet. This "don't tread on me" belief which I'm sure a lot of people believe in without acting violently, is a dangerous combination with a historical fear of invasion and the ingrained belief that violent revolution is the only way to deal with oppression either real or imagined.

[Niall_Quinn]

America is a nation that was founded in liberty (albeit selective) which makes it dramatically different to any other nation that came before it, or since. Outside observers overlook this because they can't associate with liberty in any meaningful way as they have never experienced it. Of course that liberty was short lived but the ideals were carried forward nonetheless and still exist to this day, a memory. The nation no longer comes close to standing on those ideals, but that's because the citizens weren't vigilant as warned by the founding Masons. It was an amazing experiment though and a massive shame it didn't work out. As for communism, paranoia and conspiracy theories, well the communism was very real (hence WWII), the paranoia has risen in direct relation to the overbearing state (no coincidence there) and the conspiracy theories show a healthy mistrust for authority which is a good thing in all cases and is a lot safer than religion, for example. Since 1913 the original America hasn't existed and the right to bear arms has become an odd legacy from a time before the people capitulated and the state still had a concept of its intended purpose. Pity they didn't use those weapons when they still had the chance.

[Xhaka Can’t]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=awgs0burFTk

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Dennis Healey RIP

Not even been mentioned on the Labour Party website I hope that's just an oversight

[GP]

She said there's ants in the carpet
Dirty little monsters
Eating all the morsels
Picking up the rubbish

[Injury Time]

Dennis Healey RIP

Not even been mentioned on the Labour Party website I hope that's just an oversight

I always thought of his eyebrows when using ## :rose:

[LDG]

She said there's ants in the carpet
Dirty little monsters
Eating all the morsels
Picking up the rubbish

Give her effervescence
She needs a little sparkle!

Love that tune

[GP]

FINALLY a public bathroom I can use...

http://i.imgur.com/pgFWQGj.jpg

[GP]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CQcE68DW8AAwFRJ.jpg

[Injury Time]

Possibly Letters or WMUg early ancestor?
http://www.tz-uk.com/pics/grammarnazis.jpg

[WMUG]

Hey, I'm reformed now.

[Letters]

I'm not :ninja:

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Anyone tried giving up smoking?.

Only been a day and I think unutterably depressed

[LDG]

Anyone tried giving up smoking?.

Only been a day and I think unutterably depressed

Yep.

3 1/2 years now.

It's fucking easy if you have the balls.

[Niall_Quinn]

Anyone tried giving up smoking?.

Only been a day and I think unutterably depressed

Why would anyone want to give up smoking :doh:

[GP]

I vape these days.

Not because I'm trying to quit, just because it looks cool.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Why would anyone want to give up smoking :doh:

Need to free up cash and a sense that I'll get oesophageal cancer if I carry on

[Niall_Quinn]

Excuses, excuses.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

I vape these days.

Not because I'm trying to quit, just because it looks cool.

I'm doing the stoptober thing which I don't think incorporates vapeing

[PGFC]

I rape these days.

Not because I'm trying to quit, just because it looks cool.

Are you a footballer?

[PGFC]

Anyone tried giving up smoking?.

Only been a day and I think unutterably depressed

The first 18 years have been the hardest :good: you probably won't get cancer now, just diabetes when you pile on the weight :)

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Well I'm going to die of either cancer or heart failure, the latter sounds quicker

[Niall_Quinn]

Well I'm going to die of either cancer or heart failure, the latter sounds quicker

You could get hit by a bus. No way of knowing how you'll check out so just enjoy each day. Ciggie, glass (or twelve) single malt, a nice round of industrial strain skunk when you can get it, chips, pies, all of it - beats the shit out of jogging and posing in front of a mirror. Both result in death, it's just a matter of timing.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

You could get hit by a bus. No way of knowing how you'll check out so just enjoy each day. Ciggie, glass (or twelve) single malt, a nice round of industrial strain skunk when you can get it, chips, pies, all of it - beats the shit out of jogging and posing in front of a mirror. Both result in death, it's just a matter of timing.

Still the price to consider
People who get hit by buses either aren't looking where they are going or have done it intentionally
I wouldn't give up drinking, I don't drink that much anyway so it's not like it even counts as a vice.
If I did get some form of terminal cancer, sod chemo to prolong things I'm getting on Heroin

[Niall_Quinn]

So take up heroin now as an insurance policy.

[Xhaka Can’t]

You could get hit by a bus. No way of knowing how you'll check out so just enjoy each day. Ciggie, glass (or twelve) single malt, a nice round of industrial strain skunk when you can get it, chips, pies, all of it - beats the shit out of jogging and posing in front of a mirror. Both result in death, it's just a matter of timing.
Getting hit by a bus costs considerably less and the Government gets no tax revenue.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Niall_Quinn]

Getting hit by a bus costs considerably less and the Government gets no tax revenue.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

So theoretically, hitting the government with a bus ticks all the boxes?

[Xhaka Can’t]

Why waste a good bus for that?

Just get Eric Pickles to sit on them.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Niall_Quinn]

Why waste a good bus for that?

Just get Eric Pickles to sit on them.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

Was going to use the chav's bus.

[Injury Time]

You could get hit by a bus. No way of knowing how you'll check out so just enjoy each day. Ciggie, glass (or twelve) single malt, a nice round of industrial strain skunk when you can get it, chips, pies, all of it - beats the shit out of jogging and posing in front of a mirror. Both result in death, it's just a matter of timing.

Is it that the bus Letters is taking? :unsure:
http://www.goonersweb.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=3387&page=2&p=478972&viewfull=1#post478972

[GP]

Are you a footballer?

Are you Coney?

[Letters]

Tuesday :(

[LDG]

Lumping it down this morning. Couldn't see out the windscreen....

[Letters]

Still not been out in the car with MrsL. Not a very nice week for it but am on the insurance now.
Suspect we'll end up having a blazing row when I do go out for a drive with her :rolleyes:

[LDG]

Still not been out in the car with MrsL. Not a very nice week for it but am on the insurance now.
Suspect we'll end up having a blazing row when I do go out for a drive with her :rolleyes:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UTuSC0E0enE/hqdefault.jpg

[PGFC]

:haha:

[Letters]

:lol:


<_<

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Excellent....most amusing


But seriously though if she pipes up when you're driving just give her some quick face time with the back of your hand.

Do it hard enough, she'll sit there in shock for the rest of the journey

[Niall_Quinn]

Excellent....most amusing


But seriously though if she pipes up when you're driving just give her some quick face time with the back of your hand.

Do it hard enough, she'll sit there in shock for the rest of the journey

She'll also get 6 months of headaches as a result - so not the smartest policy really :sulk:

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

She'll also get 6 months of headaches as a result - so not the smartest policy really :sulk:

This is Mrs Letters we are talking about, whilst I don't know what she looks like, I don't foresee that being an issue

[Letters]

This is Mrs Letters we are talking about, whilst I don't know what she looks like, I don't foresee that being an issue

http://www.goonersweb.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=86&page=28

And I'm not sure what you're implying... <_<

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

http://www.goonersweb.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=86&page=28

And I'm not sure what you're implying... <_<

You look like you're standing on a copy of the yellow pages to get to her height and even then I think your about an inch out

So is it Letters or Richard that she cries out between the sheets ?

[GP]

You look like you're standing on a copy of the yellow pages to get to her height and even then I think your about an inch out

And later that night he was about an inch in.

[LDG]

And later that night he was about an inch in.

Up to his neck.

[Letters]

Zimm's Downfall :lol:

I do remember now.

[LDG]

Talk about delayed reaction

[Niall_Quinn]

Talk about delayed reaction

Delayed Reaction

When you make a kissing sound and motion approximately 15 seconds after your boyfriend has left the vicinity of your face after kissing you. He will then spend 5 minutes generating a substantial amount of laughter from you by 1. Acting very homosexual-attitude about the situation and 2. Showing you how crazy it makes you look.
When kissing my girlfriend last night she sat there without returning the kiss. She did not even respond. I pulled away and after about 15 seconds of just looking at her she made the sound of a kiss and a slight purse of her lips. Apparently there was an invisible man between us or she is just crazy. That is when I said "That was a Delayed Reaction"!

[LDG]

You're fucking weird.

[Marc Overmars]

Went to eat at Meatliqour last night after hearing some rave reviews.

The burgers are sensational. Life changing IMO.

The wings were pretty good too.

[Letters]

Talk about delayed reaction

I know :lol:

I was thinking about that viral Spanish bloke laughing video which people are putting captions to (I watched a version with the actual correct translation - it's a story about how he lost some pans in the sea because the tide rose, it wasn't that funny) and that made me think of the Hitler ones and then I remembered.



Stupid brain. <_<

[Letters]

Went to eat at Meatliqour last night after hearing some rave reviews.

The burgers are sensational. Life changing IMO.

The wings were pretty good too.

Burgers, you say?

I'm a '5 Guys' man, myself. Byron's are also acceptable.

[GP]

I love having 5 Guys in my mouth.

[PGFC]

I love having 5 Guys in my mouth.

Are you Marc Almond? #iamconey

[LDG]

Are you Marc Almond? #iamconey

No, Almond (Van) Held 'Em

#Coneyday
#Oldcunt

[Letters]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb0JAYPdUtk

:haha:

[PGFC]

:lol: Marcs one was funny too

[Letters]

Drove home from MK yesterday. First time on the motorway.
Number of deaths I caused: 0.


No, this wasn't me :sulk:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-34503112

[Niall_Quinn]

Drove home from MK yesterday. First time on the motorway.
Number of deaths I caused: 0.


No, this wasn't me :sulk:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-34503112

Seems odd you've taken the time to come on here and deny that was you. Suspicious even.

[Letters]

:ninja:

[Marc Overmars]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-34503112

I was going to say how the hell does someone drive the wrong way on a motorway, then I saw one of the people involved was 87 years old. Jesus.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

I was going to say how the hell does someone drive the wrong way on a motorway, then I saw one of the people involved was 87 years old. Jesus.

I'm sorry but there needs to be a maximum age limit for drivers, 87 is too old to allowed on the road by yourself.

[Niall_Quinn]

I'm sorry but there needs to be a maximum age limit for drivers, 87 is too old to allowed on the road by yourself.

You want to further curtail the vanishing liberties of all because one guy is a dick?

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

You want to further curtail the vanishing liberties of all because one guy is a dick?

I could get into a long debate about geriatric drivers but in this instance I'm prepared just to say

Yes, yes I do....if you don't have the good taste to die when you get to a certain age don't expect sympathy from me

[Letters]

I thought people over a certain age had to have regular checks? I've known people in their 90s who have been safe enough drivers and I know plenty of people in their 20s and 30s who are extremely dangerous on the roads.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

I thought people over a certain age had to have regular checks? I've known people in their 90s who have been safe enough drivers and I know plenty of people in their 20s and 30s who are extremely dangerous on the roads.

They just drive so slowly that it causes other people to have accidents and they come out unscathed

I'm all for mass culling of the over 60s, it's where it all goes down hill

[Letters]

Coney :pal:

[Letters]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34511999

Well, I'm cancelling my subscription :sulk:

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34511999

Well, I'm cancelling my subscription :sulk:

Don't pretend you subscribe to anything other than Gardeners World and the Beano

[LDG]

Had the same dose of manful for a week now. Getting fucked off with it now...

SAD seems to have affected me earlier this year, despite the sunshine. So fucking tired.

[Letters]

I had manflu in the run up to last Christmas, it was rubbish.
Been mostly unaffected so far this year :pray:

[LDG]

I've been really lucky this year, especially with the little dude bringing home every germ known to man from nursery. Think the last cold I had was in Feb or something.

Meh, if this is the last one I get this year, mores the better.

Christmas is coming.

[Niall_Quinn]

I've been really lucky this year, especially with the little dude bringing home every germ known to man from nursery. Think the last cold I had was in Feb or something.

Meh, if this is the last one I get this year, mores the better.

Christmas is coming.

I smoke too much, drink too much and get no exercise. And I am never ill. All the health freaks around me are coughing and spluttering. Their bodies are wide open to germs whereas if a germ comes within a mile of me it instantly drops dead from alcohol and carbon monoxide poisoning. Only downside is it's bloody expensive to be this healthy.

[LDG]

I smoke too much, drink too much and get no exercise. And I am never ill. All the health freaks around me are coughing and spluttering. Their bodies are wide open to germs whereas if a germ comes within a mile of me it instantly drops dead from alcohol and carbon monoxide poisoning. Only downside is it's bloody expensive to be this healthy.

I've definitely had less colds than when I smoked. Used to get one every couple of months....

[Niall_Quinn]

I've definitely had less colds than when I smoked. Used to get one every couple of months....

You probably weren't drinking enough.

[Letters]

Tell you what's nice: Bacon.
Mmm...bacon.

:dance:

[LDG]

You probably weren't drinking enough.

:haha:

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Had the same dose of manful for a week now. Getting fucked off with it now...

SAD seems to have affected me earlier this year, despite the sunshine. So fucking tired.

If you start getting a nose bleed followed by heamoraging from your eyes and your arse, you can probably take it as red that you're going to die

[Niall_Quinn]

If you start getting a nose bleed followed by heamoraging from your eyes and your arse, you can probably take it as red that you're going to die

Or your queen is a bit butch.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Rough gay sex leads to eye socket heamoraging ?

Some things really are better left unknown

[Letters]

Tell you who isn't funny.
Kevin Hart.

[LDG]

If you start getting a nose bleed followed by heamoraging from your eyes and your arse, you can probably take it as red that you're going to die

You said "take it as red"

Lollerz.

[Letters]

Coney :bow:

[Letters]

:patrice:

Just looked to see how much this domain is worth: $2,676, apparently.

So long, suckers :cool:

[PGFC]

Is it Friday yet?

It is?

:woohoo:

[LDG]

It sure the fuck is!! :patrice:

Just had my new company car delivered :dance:

[GP]

Is it a Swift?

[LDG]

Is it a Swift?

Lol no.

It is a well known boring family car however :(

But I'm not paying for it (other than the BIK). And that means more beer money for me.

[Marc Overmars]

Speaking of cars, some absolute fuck bucket has put a small dent in the side of my car. It's not too noticeable but considering the car is only a few months old, I'm pretty fucked off.

[LDG]

Speaking of cars, some absolute fuck bucket has put a small dent in the side of my car. It's not too noticeable but considering the car is only a few months old, I'm pretty fucked off.

Great use of the phrase fuck bucket.

[PGFC]

Speaking of cars, some absolute fuck bucket has put a small dent in the side of my car. It's not too noticeable but considering the car is only a few months old, I'm pretty fucked off.

That's awful :(




*A tiny dent? to be fair that's only about £20 of damage really #whatgoesaround

[Marc Overmars]

Yeah it's small but it's my baby. Most expensive purchase I've ever made. :sulk:

[Niall_Quinn]

Yeah it's small but it's my baby. Most expensive purchase I've ever made. :sulk:

So you haven't bought a season ticket then?

[GP]

You've never been to Thailand then?

[Letters]

Great Scott!

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f395/wrdrichard/BTTF_zps1w5og6cs.jpg

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Speaking of cars, some absolute fuck bucket has put a small dent in the side of my car. It's not too noticeable but considering the car is only a few months old, I'm pretty fucked off.

Fucked off enough to kill?

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Great Scott!

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f395/wrdrichard/BTTF_zps1w5og6cs.jpg

We've been lied to by movies....who knew

I was six when BTTF2 came out

[LDG]

Didn't realise Frodo was in BTTF2 btw

[Letters]

We've been lied to by movies....who knew

I was six when BTTF2 came out

Depressingly I was 11 when the first one came out and it makes me feel very old that now it's now.
Nice touch of God to make it rain this morning just like it is when they get to the 'future'. Who knew He was a film buff?

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

Depressingly I was 11 when the first one came out and it makes me feel very old that now it's now.
Nice touch of God to make it rain this morning just like it is when they get to the 'future'. Who knew He was a film buff?

Refuse to dignify that with an answer :-)

[Niall_Quinn]

Refuse to dignify that with an answer :-)

And I'm not going to state the obvious by pointing out you actually did answer.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

And I'm not going to state the obvious by pointing out you actually did answer.

Well I'm certainly not going to suggest that you're being a pedant

[Niall_Quinn]

Well I'm certainly not going to suggest that you're being a pedant

I'm going to resist the temptation to say, so is your face.

[GP]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hskVSq2lQKE

[LDG]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hskVSq2lQKE

:haha:

[Letters]

Or...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kpkT1m1Lvo

[Master Splinter]

I love Coq too.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBG3Avc1oaA

[GP]

Pretty gay

[Letters]

:cool:

Had this email this mornnig:


You have (1) Message from Holly280:

I've been wanting you inside me since I saw your pictures. Can you please message me so we can hang out this weekend?

:dance:

I'd be stupid NOT to click the link.

[LDG]

FRIDAY!

:woohoo:

[Letters]

I concur.

:dance:

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

I'm quite upset

Two women who I dated at different times who have no earthly business knowing each other have friended on Facebook

Basically it means I can never date any woman from south London ever again....god damn conspiracy that's what this is


:threaten:

[Letters]

Social :lol:

Awlful media.

[LDG]

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

[LDG]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/airlines-crack-down-on-fraudulent-vegetarians-201105273877

:lol:

[Niall_Quinn]

I'm quite upset

Two women who I dated at different times who have no earthly business knowing each other have friended on Facebook

Basically it means I can never date any woman from south London ever again....god damn conspiracy that's what this is


:threaten:

Explain to both how awkward this has made things and selflessly suggest a threesome as the obvious solution.

[LDG]

Explain to both how awkward this has made things and selflessly suggest a threesome as the obvious solution.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/threesome-ruined-by-administrative-oversight-20151023103219

[Letters]

Excel :lol:



I'd probably do that, tbf.

[LDG]

=IF(AND(A1=HOT,B1=HOT),"FACESHOT","DOGGY")

[Niall_Quinn]

Monday and the hangover from hell :-(

At least I got up early by accident. Had no idea the clocks went back but dead handy and in the nick of time.

See I might be below par mentally but the jokes and puns are still top rate, even if I say so myself (which I do).

[Letters]

I invented a clever trick where I only set the clocks back yesterday so I got an extra hour this morning instead of yesterday.

Me :bow:

[LDG]

LDG invented a clever trick where he only set the clocks back yesterday so he got an extra hour this morning instead of yesterday.

LDG :bow:

See, told ya.

Great innit.

[Letters]

I didn't really :lol:

What's that, Mr Taxman? A £1600 tax rebate for MrsL? Don't mind if we do.

:dance:

[Xhaka Can’t]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ULAs_xUc_I

[Xhaka Can’t]

I'd quite like to bang Darcey Bussell.

[adzzzbatch]

I'd quite like to bang Darcey Russell.

I could swear you posted that in the match reaction thread. Which one of us is going mental?

[Xhaka Can’t]

Thats you that is.

[Xhaka Can’t]

And it is Bussell.

All night long

[LDG]

I wonder how Gary is feeling this morning.

[Letters]

I wonder how Gary is feeling this morning.

I imagine his head is sorer than Darcy Bussell's vagina after a night with Gary.

[LDG]

I imagine his head is sorer than Darcy Bussell's vagina after a night with Gary.

:haha:

That's the funniest thing you've ever posted

[Niall_Quinn]

:haha:

That's the funniest thing you've ever posted

I'm afraid that's probably true.

[Xhaka Can’t]

I imagine his head is sorer than Darcy Bussell's vagina after a night with Gary.
:lol: I am kind of relieved because for a short while when I woke up I was worried that I may have posted this on Facebook.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Letters]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34661256

:blink:

There were 29 officers investigating this, till recently?! Why are there still 4? :doh:
Are there 4 officers working full time on every other missing person case?

[Marc Overmars]

She's deader than dead.

[GP]

There is no god.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34659811

[Xhaka Can’t]

The second greatest singer in the history of Genesis.

[Herbert_Chapman's_Zombie]

My mum died on Monday so been pretty bummed out this week

Bit macabre but the first time I'd seen a dead body too

Long story short had an administrative nightmare getting the green light from the coroners and doctors to get her moved to a funeral directors.

[Xhaka Can’t]

I'm so sorry to read that.

I hope you and your family find all the comfort you need.

[Letters]

Sorry to hear that, fella :(

[Marc Overmars]

Very sorry to hear that mate.

Condolences to you and your family.

[GP]

http://i.imgur.com/ikvFTNt.jpg

[Letters]

Hmm. Friend of mine posted a picture of himself on FB yesterday, he's standing outside a primary school with a bag of cakes and has captioned it "Who wants to be my friend? I have brownies!!!"

#yewtree.


He does work there, to be fair. But still... :blink:

[Marc Overmars]

Someone turned up to an interview earlier in Converse. Jesus.

[Hump]

Someone turned up to an interview earlier in Converse. Jesus.

I thought Jesus favoured the leather open-toed sandal

[Xhaka Can’t]

http://i.imgur.com/ikvFTNt.jpg

:lol:

[LDG]

Someone turned up to an interview earlier in Converse. Jesus.

That's how I turned up to my wedding tbf.

Suit and Cons :bow:

[Niall_Quinn]

Don't know about your guys, but right now I could do with fucking Darcy Bussell.

[GP]

Who's he?

[Letters]

Friday
:partytime:

[LDG]

Yay.

So much fucking work to do, it hardly feels like it :(

[LDG]

And yet, I'm posting on here.


Doh!

[Marc Overmars]

Go to work when it's dark, leave work when it's dark.

Fuck this shit.

3 weeks till I'm off on my jollies though. :dance:

[Letters]

Go to work when it's dark
Ah yes, I remember the Private Sector :lol:

[Niall_Quinn]

And yet, I'm posting on here.


Doh!

Snap. Got a deadline coming up in a couple of hours. Need to scan GW to make sure I'm prepared for it.

[Letters]

Probably still would, tbf

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-34675778

[Niall_Quinn]

Very important information here.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34671007

And some people claim the BBC isn't vital to the nation.

[Letters]

This woman needs to eat some pies.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-teacher-wins-stand-off-with-school-in-pornographic-instagram-dispute-a6707076.html

[adzzzbatch]

Anyone up for beer next Sunday?

[Letters]

What time is kick off?

[adzzzbatch]

4pm.

Not got a ticket yet, but fancy a day out anyway if I don't get one.

[Letters]

Mmmaybe. Will need to check with the boss :rolleyes:

[Munchies]

Happy B-day Maccy :bow:

[Marc Overmars]

What a man.

The best sports broadcaster in the business.

[Letters]

Maccy :bow:

HB.

[Letters]

ZOMG!

http://metro.co.uk/2015/11/04/a-20th-century-fox-theme-park-resort-is-coming-with-the-simpsons-titanic-and-aliens-attractions-5480728/?ito=facebook

:dance:

Hope the work trips to Dubai don't stop.

[Letters]

Oh, and...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3302870/Petition-aims-stop-Phil-Collins-returning-music.html

:lol:

[adzzzbatch]

So Sunday... :tumbleweed:

I'll be down around 1:45/2pm Pins I guess coz Gary said he might come out.

[Marc Overmars]

Taking the future in-laws out for dinner tomorrow to tell them I'm going to pop the question in a couple of weeks. :sick:

[Letters]

:lol: Do you get on with them ok? My in-laws are great (well, father in law is a bit annoying but that's dads for you) so they were pretty happy when I had the chat with them.

[Marc Overmars]

Yeah they're cool, always enjoyed my time with them. I think they have an inkling about why I'm taking them out so that should make it an easy topic to discuss.

[GP]

Since my Dad passed away by Brother-in-law asked for my blessing before he proposed to my sister.

I told him to fuck off.

[Letters]

Stop going to his weddings then :angry:



That didn't make sense, did it?
Meh.

[GP]

:shrug:

Made more sense than an N_Q argument.

[LDG]

freeeeeeedom!

Audit week done.

Square cunts.

[Letters]

Audit week done.

Square cunts.

How is Gary?

[Xhaka Can’t]

Every week is audit week for me. :(

[Niall_Quinn]

Every week is audit week for me. :(

That's one of the most chilling things I have ever heard. I thought I had it bad, but there's always somebody else worse off.

[Letters]

The John Lewis Christmas advert :lol:
Awlful science.

[Xhaka Can’t]

True.

The fucking moon is upside down.

[Marc Overmars]

Dirty old man gets a telescope so he can spy on a little girl.

[Letters]

True.

The fucking moon is upside down.

:lol:

[Letters]

Dirty old man gets a telescope so he can spy on a little girl.

Didn't she send it to him? She loves it...

[PGFC]

Happy Wednesday.

[Marc Overmars]

Samosas in the office for Diwali. :bow:

Only 2nd to Christmas tbf.

[PGFC]

Hmm, used to love Diwali, too commercialised for me now...

[Letters]

:lol:

Christmas > Easter > All the rest.