The real reason Arsenal are failing

OK after doing some quite structured and balanced analysis I have finally come up with the conclusion that the real reason we are falling behind and not winning trophies isn't because of the money, the team, the tactics, the managers or any of the usually acknowledged reasons.

The simple reasons is we don't have enough ****s. Look at the table below and you will see that we are joint bottom of the **** league with Fulham, Fulham FFS! If you look at the teams at the top they are the more successful and trophy hunting teams, in fact their seems to be a direct correlation between success in the prem and the sheer amount of ****ishnesss within the team. (Only Stoke buck this trend and they went to the FA cup semi's last year and played in |Europe for the first time ever as their ****ishness increased, coincidence?)

Arsenal can recall Bendtner and Frimpong while the re-entry of Denilson would better our standings but we are clearly lacking. I hope the manager reads this and adds to the squad where it badly needs it. I am thinking maybe Clarkson at Central defence, Cameron in midfield and the maybe Sticking Eamon Holmes up front? That would get us on the right path.

1	Tottenham Hotspur	11		Bale, King, Gallas, Kaboul, VDV, Bentley, Parker, Sandro, Huddlestone, Adebayor, Defoe
2	Manchester City	11		Nasri, Johnson, De Jong, Barry, Tevez, Aguero, Ballotelli, Lescott, Hargreaves, yaya, Richards
3	Manchester United	11		Ferdinand, Evra, Young, Nani, Anderson, Rafael, Fletcher, Giggs, Scholes, Rooney, Owen
4	Stoke city	8		Huth, Lenny, Pennant, Higinbotham, Delap, Woodgate, Fuller, Crouch
5	Liverpool	8		Carragher, Johnson, Cole, Bellamy, Gerrard, Adam, Suarez, Carroll
6	Chelsea	6		Cole, Terry, Lampard, Drogba, Mikel, Meireles
7	Queens park Rangers	6		Mackie, Barton, Zamora, Dyer, Ferdinand, Taarabt
8	Newcastle United	4		Best, Smith, Tiote, Taylor
9	Sunderland	4		Bramble, Gardner, Bendtner, Gyan
10	Wolverhampton Wanders	4		Frimpong, Henry, Hunt, O'Hara
11	Everton	3		Fellaini, Cahill, Neville
12	Norwich City	3		Holt, Fox, Barnett
13	Swansea City	3		Vorm, Tate, Lita
14	West Bromich Albion	3		Robinson, Foster, Olsson
15	Wigan Athletic	2		Kirkland, Watson
16	Aston Villa	2		Hutton, Keane
17	Blackburn Rovers	2		Dunn, MGP
18	Bolton Wanderers	2		Davies, Reo-Coker
19	Fulham	1		Murphy
20	Arsenal	1		Van Persie

:lol:

It's TRUE!!!!

OMFG.

Frimpong needed back asap. tbf. ftw. afc.

Chelsea's position is a surprise. What happens when you apply weighting?
Surely Cole and Terry count as 3 and 6 respectively?

And Lee Cattamole doesn't even count as 1? Surely some mistake.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fist of Lehmann

Chelsea's position is a surprise. What happens when you apply weighting?
Surely Cole and Terry count as 3 and 6 respectively?

And Lee Cattamole doesn't even count as 1? Surely some mistake.

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1 **** = 1 point

And i dont mind Cattermole as he injures players on other teams quite a bit as opposed to only injuring ours like Stoke seem committed to doing

Theo, Chamakh and Gervinho have a ****. Doesn't that count?

If I was a rival supporter I'd definitely think Szhansnney should be on that list.

Not sure what Stoke's excuse is though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Syn

Theo, Chamakh and Gervinho have a ****. Doesn't that count?

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I think you're confusing **** with **** here Syn. Understandable mistake. Terry and Cole are ****s. Theo and Maroon5 ChaKma are just ****s.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LDG

Maroon5 ChaKma

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:lol:

That's going to stick.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by McNamara That Ghost...

If I was a rival supporter I'd definitely think Szhansnney should be on that list.

Not sure what Stoke's excuse is though.

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But you wouldn't hear all the twitter and press release bollocks that is attributed to him if you weren't an Arsenal fan.

The difference is he is a bit of a jumped up young buck, its not like he is nicking toilet seats from B&Q or shagging his sister-in-law is it?

Yeah you do, I've ready enough rival forums to know that is the case. And really, Glen Johnson as an example? It's all very well nicking a toilet seat from B&Q but that's not going to help you kick the shit out of people on the pitch.

I think there's a bit too many contentious ones anyway. Barry isn't a ****, he's shit but he's not a ****. Although I suppose he is by virtue of the fact he earns so much despite being shit.