Textbook.
We've tracked him patiently. Gone through the wanting period. Endured the waiting period. Executed the wanking period superbly by striking with a brilliantly insulting offer. And finally, finally we've landed our nobody. Add him to the list of prospects who will never play for the club, never be heard of again.
Ladies, gents, this is how it's done!
Now just one more panic buy that makes zero sense, right at the close of the window, and it's been another brilliant summer. We've picked up potentially the most boring player in world football, a little Japanese kid who makes cutesy hand gestures and some other guy. It's on!