Pepe's pretty shite tbf. Because he's one of ours we give him x-hundred and seventy chances to actually do something on the pitch. Which means, sometime around the summer of 2022, fans are going to become disillusioned with the New Theo Walcott.

I have no time for players like Pepe. Do you realise how pampered these kids are? Sure, it's a new league, a new language, all of that. So we expect some period of adjustment. But we don't expect him to be utterly clueless. Everything is on tap for these guys to help them to adjust. 70mill quid? JFHC! That would have funded our summer.

Maybe he'll come good. But I doubt he'll ever be consistent. He's got Theo's football brain stuffed in Gervinho's football carcass. This is not a good combination.