Sounds like a real dick

[Coney]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/13958630

A tiny water boatman is the loudest animal on Earth relative to its body size, a study has revealed.

Scientists from France and Scotland recorded the aquatic animal "singing" at up to 99.2 decibels, the equivalent of listening to a loud orchestra play while sitting in the front row.

The insect makes the sound by rubbing its penis against its abdomen in a process known as "stridulation".

[LDG]

I get a bit of stridulation. Less like an orchestra though, more like a metronome.

[Coney]

I get a bit of stridulation. Less like an orchestra though, more like a metronome.

When my missus gets the horn, I give her the oboe.