This Weekend's Fixtures & Midweek Fixtures (28/29/30 Apr/ 01/02 May).

[McNamara That Ghost...]

Carroll heads straight at Schwarzer.

Stoke 0-1 Everton, Crouchinho OG.

[Dennis Bendtner]

We won't be able to rely on Liverpool against Chelsea. Whatever happens in the cup game, they won't give a crap about the league one. Sadly I think we were the ones to kill their spirit at Anfield. Can't recall them winning a game there since, maybe one. Anyway...win our games, we must.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

Liverpool 0-1 Fulham, HT.

[Shaqiri Is Boss]

Carroll is actually doing OK.

I don't if that's because my expectations are at rock bottom but at least he looks up for it for a change.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

1000 goals in the league this season. Fastest time in the Premier League that mark has been reached I think.

Defending.

Also, 0-1 HT at Twickenham.

[Shaqiri Is Boss]

Albanian TV advertising 1Mb internet

And now Albanian Strictly

[Syn]

I know there has been a masturbate over this but I didn't read it so - if you don't mind - if we finish 4th and Chelsea finish 3rd, we're alright aren't we? We still get a crack at the qualifier?

[McNamara That Ghost...]

GOALStoke 0-1 Everton - Crouch own goal (44 mins)

Everton pull a fast one with a free-kick, piling bodies into the box, but shipping the ball out wide to Tony Hibbert to change the angle of delivery. It works a treat as Tim Cahill's challenge puts off Peter Crouch and Marc Wilson's attempt to head clear bounces off the big striker and into his own net.

What a way to bring up the 1k.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

I know there has been a masturbate over this but I didn't read it so - if you don't mind - if we finish 4th and Chelsea finish 3rd, we're alright aren't we? We still get a crack at the qualifier?

Yeah that's right. Fairly unlikely though I'd guess - we would need Spuds to outshit us in the remaining games.

[Syn]

Yeah that's right. Fairly unlikely though I'd guess - we would need Spuds to outshit us in the remaining games.

Cheers.

Yeah I guess it is unlikely. If Chelsea finish above us, it's likely Tottenham will have.

Ah, fuck that. Lets just win our games. Norwich and West Brom ffs. Football isn't played on paper but if we can't win those we don't deserve CL football.