Daily Mail

We got our first medal, courtesy of cyclist Lizzie Armitstead. What an utter darling. According to commentators, she had ‘fresh legs in good shape’, which she used to batter heroically through a torrential rainstorm, only to come second to some bitch from Holland. Never mind, after the 80-mile race Lizzie emerged without a speck of mud on her flawless complexion, manicure perfect, looking ready for her close-up.

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Nationalism