The best bit is when one of the mutants leathers in a fluke from 25 yards and this is held up as irrefutable evidence of their footballing ability.

And Etherington crossing it in for a mutant is seen as flair.

It is brilliant that Michael Owen can't show off his world-shaking abilities because of the technically malnourished band of non-scoring orcs masquerading as strikers in his way though.