Sir Alex Ferguson phones up Carlos Queiroz and says “I’ve got £20 million pounds to spend, I want you to go out and find me a Brazilian genius.” Queiroz says ‘I know exactly the player, Anderson at Porto.’

So, Ferguson signs him and watches him in training, plays him in a few games. He phones Queiroz up and says “This player, he can’t tackle, he can’t shoot, he can barely pass… he doesn’t seem to be for anything, he just goes anonymous against quality opposition. He’s very mediocre.” Queiroz says “Exactly!”, to which Ferguson protests: “But I told you to get me a Brazilian genius!” Queiroz replies: “Oh! Sorry, Alex. I thought you said ‘A Brazilian Jenas.’

Thefcf.co.uk