Good Point On Diving
I had to laugh at the streams of disproportionate moral outrage pouring out of the English media in response to Ashley Young's dive yesterday. You'd think the Mail had discovered a new drug.
Practitioners of the dark art don't often let on, but defending is inherently cynical. Key skills include knowing the right time and place to give away a free kick, blocking off opponents when the ref is looking the other way and pushing a striker just hard enough to unbalance him without knocking him over. And, of course, appearing unhinged enough to make opponents fear for their safety without getting sent off all the time. As every Stoke fan knows, footballers aren't half as good when they fear for their safety. Nothing plays into our hands more than a forward determined to uphold the sacred spirit of the game and play proper English football for real men who stay on their feet innit. As long as we can avoid knocking them over, we can foul them all we want and the ref will only rarely give a free kick.
The pundits will always side with the defenders. I bet no one even knows who it was that grabbed Danny Welbeck's shirt as he was running in behind against Wigan last week. There was no universal outcry or condemnation of this blatant act of cheating. In England at least, defenders have somehow created a moral monopoly on cynicism in football. When a defender tugs a player back, happy to take a yellow card in order to stop a promising break, it's described as 'using his experience', or 'being quite clever there', or any one of an array of euphemisms. Never 'cheating', which is what it is. Only forwards are capable of 'cheating', thereby making them a 'disgrace' and prompting calls for all kinds of ridiculous punishments as 'the only way we'll stamp out this blight on our game.'
Spare us.
Will, Manchester