Back to Portugal, then, where the Porto president Jorge Pinto da Costa has warned new Chelsea manager, André Villas-Boas, that he'll have to spend big money to get the team's stars to follow him to London. And to prove he's not kidding he slapped a £62m combined price tag on the striker Falcao and the playmaker João Moutinho. But Chelsea could make all of that and more by dumping Lampard, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Florent Malouda, Michael Essien, Salomon Kalou and Mikel John Obi. Perhaps they already have been dumped — it would help to explain why Ashley Cole's bins are so full.
Carlos Tevez's £150,000-a-week salary has scared off potential suitors Internazionale. "He is a great player, but his salary means it is out of the question," said the sporting director, Marco Branca. Equally unlikely to move to Italy is Gaël Clichy, who has informed Arsenal that he would prefer to replace Wolves-bound-and-anyway-rubbish Paul Konchesky at Liverpool rather than move to rival bidders Roma — even though the Italians' bid is, at £7m, a full £2m more than Liverpool's. Manchester City are also seeking a left-back, but after mulling over an offer for Leighton Baines they have made Lyon's £20m-rated Aly Cissokho their top target.