People may not be taking it seriously now but Bale failing with the keepy uppys at the presentation is the first sign of fraudulence. This boy is an imposter and he knows it. Keepy uppys are a basic apitude test for a pro footballer. He lacks the basic technique to do anything other than run quickly (for an Anglo-Saxon) in straight lines and hoof the ball towards goal.
He will be shunted to left-back within 12 months, back in England within 30.