Villa v Man Utd, This Weekend's Fixtures & Liverpool v Bournemouth (14/15/16/17 Aug)

[Master Splinter]

Coutinho the magician magics one hopelessly wide.

[Shaqiri Is Boss]

Bournemouth's back four is the same defence that played in the Cherries' last game in League One two seasons ago.

Their opponents that day? Tranmere Rovers.

Two promotions for Bournemouth and two relegations for Tranmere since then.

Ah fuck off, BBC.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

Ibe.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

Henderson off injured.

Lallana.

OMG.

[Master Splinter]

LOLlana .

[Shaqiri Is Boss]

Is there anything he can do?

Ah yes, the Cruyff turn. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

Milner.

Pub scuffer.

[Master Splinter]

Is there anything he can do?

Ah yes, the Cruyff turn. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Build the England team around him!

According to Hoddle.

[Master Splinter]

Bournemouth's charity volunteers and schoolteachers completely outplaying Liverpool.

Coutinho hit-and-hoper coming up.

[McNamara That Ghost...]

Coutinho looking for glory at every opportunity.

Ibe off, Firmino on.