There were times watching Walcott's display today when I was considering signing up for a trial at Arsenal. Because if he (a player who cannot kick a ball, cannot pass a ball, cannot cross a ball, cannot deliver a corner, cannot deliver a free kick, cannot do a single intelligent thing on the pitch AND - not 100% sure if it's just bad discipline and laziness but it looks it to me - has lost a yard of pace) can get a game then they'll be salivating over me. I'm assured 200K a week. Yes, I'm a lousy footballer but I can at least kick a ball.