The Daily Mirror called him "The best French diver since Jacques Cousteau" and Arsenal's Robert Pires really can't complain after adding a new dimension to football's increasingly popular art of simulation.
Cheating in the penalty area is now a highly-evolved science. Not content with merely falling over, players are now going one step further and kicking opponents to create the contact to "justify" the subsequent tumble. At Highbury on Saturday, Pires dashed into the Portsmouth box and flicked his right foot at the stationary leg of Dejan Stefanovic, thus creating the illusion of a foul, which Alan Wiley, the referee, bought hook, line and sinker.
In the courts, they call this entrapment. I call it despicable. If you think about it, one devious impulse determined the outcome of a multi-million pound event. More importantly, it deprived 38,000 spectators of the right to watch a 90-minute slice of sport. Instead they witnessed an elaborate exercise in manipulation. A lie.
The people who hold the power to eradicate synchronised cheating - players and managers - increasingly count only the gains. Top of the list of losses is faith in the game. Pires is not the first, of course. Diving has a long, dark history. The difference now is that it has become part of the culture, the mindset, striker's arsenal, if you'll forgive the pun.
Here is a list of the people and things that Pires damaged by his actions:
1) Portsmouth, who were deprived of all three points by the resulting penalty and so had to settle for a 1-1 draw.
If they are relegated by a single point, they will know who to thank, though Harry Redknapp, their manager, surrendered the sympathy vote when he confessed he wouldn't object if one of his own players conned a referee.
2) Stefanovic, who scrupulously withdrew his right leg as Pires advanced but still finished up with a yellow card.
3) Wiley, a good referee who will be docked 10 points by the assessor and will be thought of from now on as naive.
4) Pires himself. I'll close my ears if I ever hear this former Footballer of the Year emote about how much he loves the beautiful game.
Before the letters start coming, yes, Manchester United's Ruud van Nistlerooy can be equally Machiavellian. And Arsenal are plainly not alone. Two seasons ago, referees declared war on simulation but were accused of besmirching the integrity of players. They ought to be given a fresh mandate to resume the original campaign.
Wiley's error was to award a penalty to Pires when there was obvious room for doubt. Thanks to Pires and Co, overwhelming proof of guilt on the part of the defender should be required from now on.
Finally, wouldn't it be party time if managers took any diver to one side and told him: "Son, this will destroy the public's trust in the game that gives us our living. I don't want us to win or draw by cheating. There should be honour between us. In future you go down only if you're fouled."
Jacques Cousteau had to hold his breath, but don't hold yours.
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Originally Posted by Niall_Quinn
