Ramsey in a bed with wheels on, on the wing. Giroud buried 6 feet under in the penalty box. Santos asleep in the centre circle. Mannone chasing butterflies around the touchline. TV leaping into a burning building to save orphans. Santi trying to preserve his dignity under a pile of sweaty Schalke bodies. Arteta handcuffed to the goal post. Wenger sitting on Walcott in the dugout. Arshavin eating cakes. Sagna talking to his agent. Pods trying to wake Santos up. Jack running around calling everyone a ****. It's on!